yet another reason..

why SCC is not for me..OR..i'm not qualify to be SCC's Staff.

I play futsal. First Time Ever!.. Let me just say straight to the point. I never PLAY football since like forever.. If i 'm not mistaken, the last time i play football was when i was in Primary Five. So today i play..if it is even consider playing..i just standing at the front of the Goal Net..and make myself "USEFUL" by providing an easy goal for the SCC staff. 4 goals..less then ehmm 4 minutes..

My friend say it's only a game..no big deal. They were right, RIGHT? nope...for me it's not just a game..I don't know why, i can't treat anything just as it is. Typical me.. anything that i CAN'T do better is just a SHAMEFUL experience for me.

I don't have any sportsmanship like the others. They shake hands after the final whistle...and me.. hemm..just watching them shake hands.

Everyone was happy... and i feel like the-most-useless-person in the whole world. so i guess, i'm writing this post because, i need to tell everyone, if u encourage me to try something that is out from my comfort zone,and expect it will do something good to me..then you're TOTALY wrong. I'm not YOU!..I'm more complicated than what you think. Let me repeat again, i don't see things like you see, i don't treat things like what it is, and i don't treat my first time experience playing futsal as just a game!

i'm just complicated!..and i guess i'm a completely weirdo!

ps/ the reason why i'm not qualified to be scc staff is.. i'm not good enough for SCC. and there you go, 1 simple reason y i don't do well in my training in SCC. I'm a fighter..but i don't fight enough for SCC.

and see.. i don't treat my-first-time-playing-futsal as just a GAME! now..go and celebrate!

mood: angry and upset with myself!!!