Ahad, 21 Disember 2008

so this is what empty means..

i am at my hometown right now. Doing what i do the best. Watching TV. As far as i am concern..the tv was on but i can't remember anything that i watch. It's like watching an empty screen. it's empty. I'm surrounded by my family, but still i feel empty inside.

Actually i'm running from .. hurmm..yupss just keep it personal..i'm running from whatever or whoever i'm running away from. I guess.. i hurmm.. actually i wanted to share this feeling with someone that i can trust..but i guess that someone is not available rite now..or for what i see..never care..of anything that have to do with me..so i guess .. hurmm i hate doing the guess game .. so .. just live it as You never care for me.

i feel empty. i don't have anything on my mind right now. i feel weak inside..i question my faith..i don't know what happen to me for the past..hurmmm few months..
should i? or shouldn't i?

What i really want is .. to be happy. But on what i've experience so far, happiness is not for me. i just cant find my happiness? where is my happiness?

Often B'4' i go to sleep..i pray to GOD..to make the things that make me sad all the time disappeared ... but still.. i feel sad for the same thing over and over again. I run..but it keep on folllowing me.. and i question..where are you when i needed you the most? again i question my faith..

what should i do? i don't know. i'll keep on running..run away from the things that make me sad.. and again... you never care for me.

WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST??????????????

--------------------------------------------------------------------- :( :( :( :( :(

4 ulasan:

AngeL BeaR berkata...

Dear Webber,

Happiness is in the smallest thing of our lives that we often neglect or taken for granted. The morning we woke up - and we still able to live and see the day, the air that we breathe, the blue sky, the sun, the rain...these little pleasures that God has given to us.

God is listening to you. He always does. The question is - how great is your faith to Him, will you remain in your prayers - will you remain in the same faith as yesterday, today and tomorrow?

I always believe that God answers us in 3 different ways:

1 - Yes, I will give it to you.
2 - Yes, I will give it to you, but only in MY time, NOT yours.
3 - No, I will not give it to you because I have something better for you.

So very often that I got the number 2 and 3 answers in my life. We only realised it if only we look deep enough to think about it. Try to look at the positive side, there always be a silver lining behind those dark clouds over our heads. It happens to me, it is granted to you too.

Don't run - Face it with courage. Pour it all - Offer your LIFE to HIM - your heart, your fears, your tears and let Him works in you. Put it in His hands, and let him take care of the rest, while you continue with your life.

Adididi...melebih2 suda sa (sa ni pun ndak juga bagus sangat)...well I am just giving my opinion based on my own life experiences.

Keep on have that faith. Have a Blessed Christmas to you. GBU.

Merapu itu baik untuk kesihatan berkata...

Dear angel..

your nickname really reflect what kind of person you are.. thanx for the advise, thanx for reminding me the happiness that i've got but overlook..

I admin my faith to HIM is not strong enough yet.

There are times when others discuss about HIM, and i'll try to run away and not involve with the discussion.

There are times when i hate listening all the gospel,worship song.

.. but i'll try to find my way to HIM..

thanx angel..

AngeL BeaR berkata...

"We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them."

- Charles West

You're welcome Webber...am no Angel, but I am doing what I am supposed to do all that I could to a friend. Someday, you will meet someone who's in the same situation as you now...and you pass them the light that you are holding now, so that they will find they way too. =D

-AngeLBear-

kukuanga berkata...

webber...
bikin sedih ow ni post ko ni.. dahlah time2 krismas ni.

tapi, aku rasa... macam tau sikit lah tu feeling.. (it's more like a hollow u felt inside ur heart kan?) macam ada lubang yg ko berabis mau kasi penuh sama benda lain tapi tidak ngam kan? and the thing (or person) u longing to have to fill that hollow seem not to care/ unattainable... and to make it worse, u rely on ur new found faith, ur God to deliver relief, but all u get is more confusion...it seems.. God, Himself doesnt even care.

mangkali begitulah tu kan?

prayer and our faith wont change the circumstances of things we face. it only can change our perspective of how to face it, how to deal with it. it wont take away that emptiness we felt, but prayer and faith will give us hope... that someday soon, that emptiness wont be a burden anymore...

have faith.. that in His own time, everything will be alright... for the mean time..bah.. merapu lah ko... bagus itu untuk kesihatan (ko yg cakap bah tu kan webber?) hahhaha! merry Christmas!